Surfing with an Alien
i can’t feel my toes any more
they’re
cold
so cold.
oh so cold.
always so cold.
always going to be
and will ever
shall
be
as he as in heaven
is.
yeah,
cold.
i’m trying to find reason
in my insomnia
and i’m begging my own
curtains
to pretend that they’re the
fucking sandman
because i can’t
sleep
any other way
there’s a mammoth in my head
and it’s pounding
stomping around like a
ticker tape parade
spreading it’s own
guts
and
brain bits
around
like mashed
chips
(oh wait,
that is mashed chips)
confetti isn’t
hardcore
enough,
it says
only
there’s nothing wrong
with
brain parts
and
brain amoebas
and
brain tunnels
that
take you to places
with bone princessesss
(i really can’t give you my bones, dear
all i’ve got left are these veins
and then they don’t work
-
been sucking them
they taste like
metal
and
liquid hot
blizzards
ice cold
fire
and
well,
hurricanes
-tornados too
tornados on a good day
always a bad day
but you want a good day
it’s a hurricane day
yeah,
a hurricane day-
i knew a lucy once
her name was lucy
and she was well, lucy
always looking under desks
for
chewed gum
and
pieces of paper that
people
-sucked-
on and
stuck to the ground.
she’d lick my shoes
and eat them if she could
and she’d
lick doorknobs
because they’re the
-onlyfuckingsocialinteractionshegets-
and it’s naughty.
yeah.
it’s naughty.
only.
our time together
stopped when she ate my
hand
for the germs,
she said
always for the germs
because they
migrate
and
hibernate
lac..tate
elevate
she was trapped in her own
confusion
of
what was normal
and what wasn’t
she wasn’t.
that’s what
wasn’t.
and is
and will
always shall be
as he as in heaven
(try saying that three times fast
four times fast
five times fast
a million
fast
like
clones on the moon
frogs on the moon
and
lilies on the moon
because they are.
on the moon, y’know)
we’re hiding in our own
edge of reason
(like lucy)
trying to find the center,
the middle
(like lucy)
breaking into the ground
and
burrowing,
searching
for
a goddamn
hole
to put.. make a
den
we’re denning
always denning
(like lucy)
and i’m a transparent
e-coli
hoarding
bunny
with feet
that are
not so much like feet
and arms
that are
not so much like arms
and ears
that are
not so much like ears
and appendages
and tentacles
and gills
and opium-smelling
bottles of
pupils
of nostrils
of lips
of noses
that are
notsomuchlikeallthosethingsisaidandmore
we’re
hiding
our own souls
in the sands
of our
rhythm
chopping our
thoughts like
chefs on acid
cats on acid
jesus on acid
moses on acid
god on acid
anything on acid
acid on acid
acid on acid on acid…
…
while on acid
i’m trying to find
the color that i was born with
the color that wasn’t
touched by the
sunandand
well yeah
just the sun
and
i realize that
how can colors
be colors
that were never really colors
what is a color but a thing
that was named
a color
while being named a color
and going to be named a color
for all eternity
because it’s a color
that is a color
and will always be a color
that has never been a color
(i’m sorry, sir
what’s red
what’s blue
what’s pink
and yellow
i’m fucking green
FUCKING GREEN!
well, maybe,
i’m a bit purple, too)
there was an eric
he knew lucy
and he
he was
he was
half-lily
half-satanic
half-jesus
half-clone
half-earth
and
half-cooking pan
he spoke in tongues
and when he did speak
his native language
that wasn’t so native
he talked like…
jenny wasonthefloor
inthebathroom
onthemirror
onthewalls
and sheputherhandsonthemirror
sang toherself
and saidthatshewasfine
but shewasn’tandshewillneverbe
as heasinheaven
shall beforevermore
and then he..
ate hiscomplimentary
shrimp cocktailandleft
-or so they say-
and i’m
chasing the invisible rat
climbing the painted whore
eating the radioactive moth
falling off my high horse
onto earth
and all it’s moons
-does earth have moons?
more than one
equals
plural
equals it does
my logic is breeding
fucking my brains out
or vice versa-
and i’m swimming in my own ego,
surfing with the alien……………
and…sleeping…
2 years ago • Notes